Dec, 29. Day 1 of my journey- I ate alot of chocolate chips, too many. But I threw out my breakfast and hid two fiber bars so my mom thought I had them. I also had like 2 canned coffees.... For dinner I made a cabbage egg fried rice thing. No vegetable oil, I'm not allowed that anymore so I used coconut oil. "I'll go shopping tomorrow" mom said, bitch wants to ruin everything by saying there is chicken in the freezer. I don't want that, animals will make me fat, I'll fail if I do that, only savage glutton animals eat animals.... I have lost .2 according to my new scale, sucks balls, but I'll get thinner. I'll become a vampire and decay till my rotten soul is discovered and someone will give a shit, it's the only way they will. Just starve yourself. Though now I'm realizing that a real anorexic wouldn't have eaten this much, so I need to do better tomorrow, a real anorexic would have thrown out all the chocolate chips, only have one, avoid the calories in my beloved peppermint mocha coffee. Fuck I'll do better, I'm going to get closer, get better at this no matter what. I need to show the world, my parents, how much they suck and how it's their own fault. I need to get sicker, get to my goal of escaping the world and into a phychward. It's a stupid goal I know but I want it